She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize