when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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