We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
