it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
