if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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