And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
