the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
