Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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