She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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