I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
