Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
