More tranny stories later!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
