this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
