So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
