So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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