It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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