he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it penis luge time yet?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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