I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When are your genitals available?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
