He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
