This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
