Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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