He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
