I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize