this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
