And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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