Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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