Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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