I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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