Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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