all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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