Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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