he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize