the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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