You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
