drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
