Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
