When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize