My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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