I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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