She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
