gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize