So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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