i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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