you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
