creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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