YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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