my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize