I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
