i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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