I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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