just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
