Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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