He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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