Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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