Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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