So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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