You're so nebulous sometimes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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