If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
