my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
