Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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