Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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