It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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